A parody of "My Humps," by the Black Eyed Peas.


Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that mail?
I’m gonna hit you with my flail,
Hit you SO hard with my flail,
My flail, my flail my flail my flail, my flail,
My flail my flail my flail, my lovely little flail. (Check it out)

I drive the shieldmen crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They’re tightening their shield wall,
Waitin’ for their lord’s call,
Broadswords and katana,
Javies and plate armor,
Spearmen, they be spearin’,
All the archers let their arrows fly.
Brother, I ain’t runnin’,
They say that I ain’t nothin,
Tiny flail, heavy armor,
Dastard child of a farmer,
But I keep on fightin’
And they just keep on dyin’,
The bards, they keep on singin’
As I continue swingin’

My flail, my flail my flail my flail,
You love my little flail,
My flail my flail my flail,
My flail, it’s got you

It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)
It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that mail?
I’m gonna hit you with my flail,
Hit you SO hard with my flail,
Whatcha gonna do with all that plate,
All that plate around that shirt?
I'm gonna make, make, make you hurt,
Make you hurt, make you hurt


Cos of my flail, my flail my flail my flail, my flail,
My flail my flail my flail, my lovely little flail. (Check it out)

I met a warrior down on the field,
He said, “Hey, what’s that you weild?
I could be your javie, you could me my ally,
Let’s be on the same side.
Mix your flail, with my javelin,
Flailing, flailing, javelin,
Mix your flail, with my javelin,
Flailing, flailing, riiiight?”

They say I’m really pesky,
The knights, they wanna test me,
They always tryin’ to duel me,
Tryin’ to beat my flail, flail,
But they always fail, fail,
They can try but they can’t block it,
If they block it I start wailin’.
They don’t want no wailin’,
No no wailin’, no no no no wailin’.
So don’t worry ‘bout defense, boy,
It don’t make any sense, boy
I’ve got my flail


My flail, my flail my flail my flail,
My flail, my flail my flail my flail, my flail my flail
My lovely little flail,
My lovely little flail,
My lovely little flail,
On your back and on your front,
My flail, it’s got you

It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)
It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that mail?
I’m gonna hit you with my flail,
Hit you SO hard with my flail,
Whatcha gonna do against a shield?
My flail goes around that shield,
‘Round that shield, ‘round that shield.
Whatcha gonna do with all that plate,
All that plate around that shirt?
My flail’s gonna make you hurt,
Make you hurt, make you hurt

It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)
It’s got you dyin’
(Dyin’ on the battlefield, then resurrectin’)

This makes me laugh so, so hard every time I read it. I think our Bards should be required to memorize this and recite it at events in unison. XDDD I'd love it. It could be, like... Haven's camp theme song.

Haha, somebody quoted it in a video of one of Alterra's practices and it made me happy. It would be hilarious if it became a Dagorhir phenomenon. I'd feel cool.

thats awesome dude!

could it count as a song of healing???

Probably, if you can manage to keep from getting attacked while singing it.

me like! imagine the trumpet intro on a medieval horn, then that song...lol

Haha, I should find the instrumentals for My Humps and bring the song to Gates.

most definitely

If we can get more Bards in Haven, I will memorize it and sing it when asked with them~

Awesome.

I'll SING!!!!!